I feel that from draft one to the final draft, I made the most changes. I felt this essay was easier to write because I understood what I was writing about and I also had a bias to this topic as well. I agreed that technology is consuming the world we live in, speeding up our everyday actions, and affecting our day to day lives. This essay of mine was also much better because this is the second essay we wrote for the semester. The first essay I hadn’t made global comments before and wasn’t sure how to organize my essay the right way. After receiving feedback from the first essay, my second essay on technology allowed me to have a better understanding of how to integrate my information, comment globally, and locally.

Writing is a repetitive process that requires lots of revision, organizing, commenting, editing and proofreading. All these parts, aide the process in writing a great paper. In my technology essay, I used all of these parts to help my writing process. I had both global and local comments that helped shape my paper. Allowing a peer to comment on your paper, allows for an additional set of eyes and an additional voice to help make it better than it originally was. My first draft of this essay had lots of comments on it. This makes me really happy, because it means that there are things I didn’t catch and lots of areas to make my paper stronger. A comment that Sam made on my first draft was for organization. She said that I chose a good quote but instead of just throwing it in I should add a sentence or two to introduce the quote. More detail and more support is always better, and I sometimes lack that so I’m glad she caught that. Robyn made a comment that at one point in my article I needed to connect myself to what I saying by adding in an example or some details. This is also another trait I need to use to revise my paper, I sometimes leave out that needed personal connection or personal voice to my paper. This comment helped my revision. Many local comments were made along with global comments. A local comment I was received was to break up run-on sentences. I tend to have a lot to say and try to mash it all together, but when I’m noted to break it up the sentences sound much smoother. Another bunch of local comments I got were grammatical comments. Such as adding in commas where they are needed, deleting words that aren’t needed, making sure the font is all the same style and size, and adding an intro word to a sentence or two.

All of these comments, allow me to become more comfortable and more focused when writing my essay. Global comments can really shape and add more detail/support. Local comments are more general, but can be really beneficial almost like a finishing touch. After receiving all of these comments, I take a look at them and then go through my essay piece by piece fixing what is needed. When I change a part of my essay, my eyes then realize that there needed to be a change and it finally sounds better. Finally, after I fix all the global and local comments I reread my essay again. Once I reread my essay again, I find small sets of words that I reword or change, a few sentences I tweak, and I make sure everything is in its right place and connects back to my thesis. Then I finally feel like I have my final draft. That is what you will see in my final copy of my technology essay. A revised, well organized, flowing essay that has more integrated ideas, lots of supports, strong statements, and a strong thesis. An overall revised version from the first draft.